In a desperate attempt to save my social life I attended an after work business mixer the other day. I figured this would also be a good way to possibly find some new leads for work so I went expecting the best. While the attendees was not exactly what I had in mind the concept for the event was intriguing. Each person was given a name badge with a different arrangement of colors. Everyone was to find the table with the first color that corresponded to their badge and formulate a group. The group would then do basic introductions and answer questions amongst one another about their careers and life experiences. After about 15 minutes you would hear a bell ring and you would then move to a new table with a brand new group and start all over. It was a strategic way to get everyone talking and mingling. I personally enjoyed this approach because it prevented me from sliding into my introvert self. Instead, along with the 2 free glasses of Riesling the extrovert me came right out.
Needless to say, I had a good time and met some great people. While there was no immediate business opportunities I could identify, just being out and about really lifted my spirits. AS I made it my business to smile and chat with everyone I met a nice young gentleman name John. John was handsome and outgoing and had a air of confidence that was refreshing. As we chatted I couldn't tell if he was checking me out or just being social but I maintained my cool and went with the flow. Throughout the course of the night we bumped into each other and kept our conversation light.
Three days later I received a call from John asking me if I could meet him for coffee. His invitation caught me off guard and while I couldn't’t pinpoint exactly what his intentions were I decided to step out the box and meet him. I went over our brief conversation in my head several times trying to decipher if this was a date or a meeting. "Hi Lois, I met you at the event last week I was wondering if we could meet for coffee or lunch next week?" I concluded that he was more than likely interested and although he was not my immediate type, I was willing to at least meet him and hear him out.
We met at the Starbucks 5 minutes from my job on a Friday afternoon. I can't really say that I was nervous but I was curious to see what was going to happen. We both arrived separately and our initial hello was someone awkward. I gave him the once over and realized he had that corporate America look I always go for but I couldn't say I was really attracted to him. Its funny how you can meet an attractive person but just not be attracted to them. Nonetheless, after we ordered our coffee as we each put sugar and cream in our drinks I noticed he left hand was adorned with a wedding band. "WTF I mumbled under my breath" Remaining calm I decided to wait and see where this meet up was going before I fussed him out.
Our conversation stared out with general pleasantries, and then progressed to career progression. At that moment it clicked, our initial meeting, the invitation for coffee the mention of career goals, this was definitely NOT a date. Immediately I regretted his offer for coffee. I thought back to all the things I could have been doing back at the office instead of being there with him. I listened to his sales pitch about what he does and how awesome his job was, and although I told him exactly where I wanted to go in my career and how switching companies was NOT part of my plan he still continued. After 20 minutes my pride had endured all that it could. Here I was thinking I was going on a date, and not only was this not a date it was a waste of time. I politely ended our coffee meeting and I went back to work.
I could have been salty about my 20 minutes of sheer embarrassment for thinking I was going on a date, but instead I headed back to the office amused by the whole incident. Weeks later, I now do a better job at examining all coffee offers and John continues to call me to come work for his company.
North Carolina is a funny place.
